Longing

Drowning everyday in this misery
That this egoistic world has only for me
Should i give up & not fight anymore?
For I'm chased by hauting memories as I go

Save me God from this hell on earth
Take me to where I see no dirt
Do not abandone me however I'm in pain
Reform my affair, make me whole again

Take a knife and scratch my heart
Dig further and break it apart
All you can see is the darkness within
There's a devil that lives in my existence

Struggling, fighting to erase my sins
Only blackness is found when ripped my skin
Can't live or die in this numbness
But have to survive to please the rest

The End

I'm exhausted with all I have to say
The beautiful words i employ are rotten away
My boat is sinking more & more everyday
Still waving up for anyone come to my way

I realise as i work more i make it worse
May be i'm the victim to people's curse
But can't leave behind what belongs to me
Becoming pretentious to people i see

Although being confessed by words of love
I beleive on surface as the white dove
I know it in my heart, O my God I swear
I'm one in a million who suffers out there

I can only be what and who I am
This seems so hard, noone understands
I put my feelings into words that rhyme
To make you see and know, what is mine

Love

No stupid love song can describe what i feel
But the words conveyed are not more than real
Day by Day the clouds keep changing
But the feelings inside me goes around like a wheel

Love can be a great thing for me
Higher than the mountain deeper than the sea
But it has its own nature and trait
That can kill a lover silently

I realised one brutal fact
Noone can judge the love i have for thee
The fault is mine if ever I expect
The pool of tears will form under me

When turning back to look at myself
I feel I'm the stupidest girl alive
But than regretting of what I've felt
I rather walk on fire ready to die.

Nobody Knows

This pain is lurching in my heart
Deep down it's tearing me apart
Only my keyboard knows i'm crying
Cant look straight since my eyes are lying

There's fire burning inside me
Ashes of sorrows is messed up dirtily
Nobody knows I'm cut & bruised
Even if my words come out fluently

Why do I feel so cold & lonely
It forms a void within obviously
This void comes from the missing parts
Which is broken & shattered wretchedly

Hidden feelings bagan to suffocate
Yearning to cry out blaming my fate
Dying more in controlling this yearn
Wanting to flush away this terrible state

My Past

Everything doesnt matter for you
What is gone is gone, that's the past
But you failed to see my pain
Which lies behind a mask

Not easy to get out of my mind
Not easy to push it from my sight
Feeling alone, scared and deep despair
This is the battle I everyday fight

You touched my heart like an innocent boy
But beat me down and raped my joy
Amist this loss I can never cope
Don't know why do I still wait for a hope

Covering up my bruises with many excuses
By facing the world day by day
Trying to ditch my present state
Wanting my emotions to go away

Forget the last night I lived
So horrible I can't beleive
But she will only see my fear
Even she's not with me very near

Out of all the secrets I keep
Only this one is very deep
I have no place to escape
Since this is my own mistake

Wherever I turn is wrong
Yet my faith is still very strong
But why can't I get up at every fall
It makes me lost and feel so small

I fall down with a thud
Wanting to bloom earlier from this bud
Unsatisfied by what I get in turn
Ultimately in this land I get burnt

The Truth

One thing is 100% for sure
When I die hell is where i'll go
Seeing the amount of tears I shed
Almighty does not love me more

How much ever I hurl & yell
Only my four walls can hear
When everyone proceeds to success
Only I took the reverse gear

Already destined with this life
Where joy & peace have no place
Suddenly somewhere out a blue
Another sorrow has come to face

I thought that was to console me
But behind HIS mind it did not seem to be
May be HIS hatred on me has no limits
That's why always in tears HE wants to see

Feelings...

This heart is missing you
You live in my memory
The silence in the crowded room
Your only voice calls out to me

The mourn inside my heart
Slowly tracks me down
But its soul will not depart
Its soul will not let me down

The thorns of my emotions
Pricks me deep everyday
The pain it gives everytime
Reminds me for you I have to stay

My tears of sweet little hope
That run down my damped cheeks
They run with a melody
That will not make me weak

Sorrows fill my empty soul
Tuck me to bed every night
Filling my room with silent screams
Holding to me till day light

My heart has only one love
The love I can only give
Pure as the mist in the dawn
Pure as the way we shall live

Silent Tears

I feel so alone and cold
Like an aged soul who has become old
I tried to move but am frozzen
This is the fear that I never told

All words you promised to me
That will go on forever
All vows you did freely
But you had fulfilled them never

The cramp occurred in my heart
Which is caused by a sudden fear
But my eyes are lustrous and shine
Formed by my silent tears

Blinking in the middle of nights
Sleep hates me & vanishes from me
Is thinking of you the reason I fight
As my silent tears flow down freely

I Need You...

An unknown feeling of sadness
Pricks me with pain that's endless
I'm with me and myself alone
Without you my life is colorless

The amount of the need i have
Always let my heart misbehave
This is hurting me to the core
When I can't see you more & more

The injury my heart had caused
It's too late for the bleed to pause
But silently i'm prayed to be blessed
Waiting to hold you against my chest

I need you not only when I'm alone
Even when i'm with you on phone
When I close my eyes I feel your lips
Holding your loving face within my finger tips!

Something Good

I was immersed in a wicked childhood
Which developed into a miserable youth
Though it's terrible to think my past
But somewhere there was a hidden truth

For here you are in front of me
Don't know how and if it should
Is it due to some causes in my childhood
Where i have done s'thing good

It sure that nothing comes from nothing
There is a reason to everything
Don't know what it could or how it could
That's the reflection of my lonely youth

Here you are in my life & loving me
I wonder how and whether it should
After many years that I prayed silently
Because I know I had done something good

Fate

A thousand kisses will never be
Enough to satisfy my heart's plea
Each day as it comes my love grows more
Deeper & deeper like never before

Writings & expressions will never do
In order to show my love is true
Further more my feelings go
My heart beats in somersault too

Although i'm trapped within a cage
But my desires erupt for you with rage
You are so close yet you are far
Burning within me like a striking star

Is this the torture that I should face?
Different actions of mine can only say
This will continue each passing day
If that Is written in my little fate.

The Moon.. The Stars.. The Sky...

When my heart grips, I find your tears on my pillow
Don't know if it's due to the sins I made
When the moon shines, i paint your name on my window
Waiting and hopping one day to get pierced by this cupid

In the autumn night, I hear the wind blowing
Blowing the leaves of the tree to the ground
But when i gaze at the stars shining
Reciprocating me with your love without a sound

When nightfall comes, i immersed in my dreams
With my eyes closed, i reach for your hands
The big white moon smiling down at me
As if you are stretching to me, with smile so grand

I stare constantly at the stars so bright
Trying to assure me, everything is for the best
Hypnotizing me with the hope of heaven
Assuring me, you are special from the rest

You !!

Each day dawns with a smile
Greeting me with a love-flu
I hold a precious treasure
And that treasure is you

When something sad crosses my mind
I tend to think of you
A sudden change occurs instantly
Thinking you are with me through

Whenever i breathe short or long
This life dominates me with joy
Since i swim in the depth of your love
Noone can dare to destroy

My world is filled with beautiful things
I want to grab them & show you
The meaning you create in my life
And that's the reason sincere & true!

Desire

All i have is a little desire
So very simple and harmless
A desire that affects no one
But its joy is grand like Everest

My little hope exists within me
It plays a peek-a-boo game silently
This hope will dawn one day
I'm waiting for that patiently

May my life blossom like a flower
Where there's nothing but beauty
The fragrance that spreads around
Will surely reach you beautifully

But this hope lives in my desire
Which i know one day will come
My only goal is to complete you
And make you smile like a red hot sun

You - My World

Just the thought of you makes me cry
You are the reason, please wipe my eyes
I'm right there when you are in need
Because you live in me, just tell me please

For you, seeing me cry is a terrible sight
Assuring me all times by a kiss and a hug so tight
One fine day I'll make you Proud
I'll climb to the top & yell your name aloud

Dreaming of you, my eyes are never dry
With you around, there's no goodbye
In good or bad, I'm always near
I need you always to wipe my tears

Every night, I sleep with your lullaby
You come to me, when closed my eyes
You hug me warm and shower me with kisses
Whatever comes, u alone, I'll not want to miss!

Sadness

Why my days are always sad?
Everybody around thinks I'm mad
May be I lost my precious smile
But search in you, I 'll surely find.

Every night I kneel and pray
That I'll see you the coming day
It's like I am born anew
The moment my eyes set upon you

For what I have never had
That's not the reason, Why i'm sad
But my life becomes gloomy
That's when, you, i don't see

For you I carry a smile
That will last a long while
Now and forever my tears would know
The salty taste in it, purer than snow

Different

The love of you is so different
It has no resemblance with mine
But your kind is so unique
It makes things difficult I find

My kind of love is so ordinary
Like the love of an usual lover
But when confronted with your way
It becomes weak and makes me shiver

All the desires that I reveal
Is to see the real you inside
It takes you ages to understand
Sometimes it will not meet my demands

Ultimately mine is full of innocence
Its wish is never to bring you offence
It is only a love of a simple girl
Who wants her man to be her fence

Please Listen

Please listen for once, stop uttering a word
Just think of the first day, we met like two birds
The memories we shared, the talks you cared
Those golden days somehow surpassed all these years

All these days, I have lived in wretched tears
the silent tears that fell in this cold atmosphere
Nothing but honesty that filled all my words
Yet my heart broke apart, living in fear

Cut-throat pain, unbearable, yet i beared
Sadness and depression prominently shown, all these years
The silence in me, is so loud deafening my ears
Striving to forget what I cannot, as I am here

A dark special secret you'll remain to be
Without regret, you transformed a complete me
Amist the tears, you did give some memories
Don't know how this took place, so beautifully ..

I Wonder

At the end of the day, I turned around
To see what I've been looking out for
It was a knock! knock on my heart door
Finally it will not open anymore

I passed all my life in groaning & moaning
But the fear in me kept threatening
Hiding my face from the tears I shed
For being so honest, it's only paining

I succeeded in creating a self-brand in me
It's the damsel in distress that nobody can be
My blood clotted, only emptiness inside
Forever, I should live in vain brutally

Every minute in my hour, every hour in my day
I wonder every second what you meant to say
Is it the deepest regret you feel inside?
Or is it the cowardice that kept you away?

Your Love

So quick the days are gone ..
With you by my side along
When solitude grips my heart
Your thoughts only can make me strong ..

Amount of laughters & tears Shed
Were the walls to withstand any threat
Neighbours’ envy but owner’s pride
With your love as my good guide ..

Struggling together in this fake world
Unassured talks that made me swirl
No matter who comes and goes
Your love for me made me go on ..

Expressing my unconditional love in bulk
Which is as innocent as morning dew
The love that chills your entire veins
The love that lasts only for you ..

My Pure Intention

Wrong actions you feel from me
Intentions are pure but you dint see
Painful to bear these haunting doubts
Unfair you treat this easily

No where to run to hide oneself
Whether from one or from yourself
The wound so deep leaving the scar
Ego and pride that had been marred

Smashed out my brain if I should stay
Will it be wrong if I block your way?
Happiness forever is what I wish you
Even if I have to walk on fire through

Wanting to be the reason behind your smile
For that I'm ready to change my life-style
The hand that wipes your tears should be mine
I'll strive till end to make your life fine.